


The Greatest Goddam Thing You’ll Ever Read

by spaceHydra



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crying, Dabbing, I'm Sorry, M/M, just don’t do this, unconventional means of dealing with your emotions, what the fuck did I make
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 19:32:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13817955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceHydra/pseuds/spaceHydra
Summary: i’m so fucking sorry





	The Greatest Goddam Thing You’ll Ever Read

**Author's Note:**

> im so sorry

Karkat’s eyebrow twitched. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t focus on his romance novel. He grunted, and slammed the book shut, not bothering to mark his page. He glanced at the clock, which read four nineteen pm. 

Wrinkling his eyebrows, he thought about his day, and realized what was wrong-he hadn’t seen Dave all day. Looking at the clock again, he saw it strike four twenty, and that’s when he knew something was wrong-he didn’t hear Dave scream “BLAZE IT” the moment the clock hit the fruitful and dank hour. 

Making a decision, he set his book down on the armrest, and rose from his seat. He began to walk down the hallway, thinking about what may be the matter with Dave.

Could it be the anniversary of the day Shrek came out, and he was simply paying his respects to our holy lord and savior? 

Could it be the anniversary of the day the Bee Movie came out, and he was simply burning every last bit of honey in his room in respect for the Dank Bee God? 

Could he be doing his biweekly ritual of taking a bath in Mountain Dew and Doritos, and simply lost track of the time? 

Could it be something much more unfortunate and melancholy, like the day Billy Mays died? 

Karkat simply couldn’t tell. What could’ve distracted his significant other like this?

Arriving at the door, he steadied himself with a deep breath, not knowing what could lie beyond the thin barrier between him and Dave. 

He knocked on the door. Gently the first time, but his knocking increased in vigor very quickly, before he determined his partner couldn’t hear him. He opened the door, and was frozen at the sight that met him.

Dave, sitting on the bed cross legged, loudly sobbing, and aggressively dabbing.

Karkat wasn’t quite sure what he was seeing. Some kind of ritual? Dave attempting to deal with his feelings? Whatever it was, he was definitely concerned. The sad sight was enough to make even his eyes start welling up with tears. He stood in the doorframe, silently willing the cherry red tears to stop falling, but was unsuccessful in his attempts. The glistening drops of saline continued to race down his face. He wiped them away with one of his hands, and began to make his way towards the bed.

“Dave?” Karkat enquired, joining him on the bed, “Are you doing alright? I didn’t hear you scream ‘Blaze it’ at four twenty.” 

Dave couldn’t hear his partner, who had chosen the worst time in his life to lower his volume levels, over the sound of his aggressive dabbing. All he could hear was the wooshing of air as he moved his arms, and the loud sound of his sobs. He wasn’t even aware of Karkat in the room, literal inches from his face. 

Karkat took a deep breath, steadying himself, before he grabbed Dave’s arms.

“DAVE!” He shouted, adequately exhibiting his lack of bedside manners. 

“Let go of my arms, Karkat,” Dave said, deadly quiet, “and let me keep dabbing. I can’t stop dabbing, Karkat. Let me keep dabbing.”

Karkat let go of his arms, quickly, not knowing what to make of this situation. 

Dave, of course, resumed his previous task of aggressively dabbing and sobbing. 

“Dave,” Karkat began again, louder so the dabbing man could hear him, “what the fuck are you doing?” 

Dave continued to dab, but in a more thoughtful manner, as though he was thinking of his response. 

“I don’t know,” Dave said, loudly, over the sound of the quickly moving air, “I was sad and then I began dabbing and now I’m doing this and it’s not really helping but at the same time it is?” He said, speaking in his general manner of run on sentences. 

Karkat slapped his palm to his face. “How long have you been dabbing, Dave?” He asked, exasperated. 

“I don’t know, man. I just gotta dab my bad feelings away.” The aggressively dabbing teenager responded. 

Karkat paused, weighting his next response heavily. “Does...does that actually work?” He asked, knowing it wasn’t a healthy coping mechanism, but wanting to try anyways. 

“Try it with me. You’ll see for yourself.” Dave responded, out of breath. 

Karkat hesitantly began to dab. Slowly at first, as though he wasn’t sure of himself, then faster, faster, faster. He quickly joined the cadence Dave was dabbing at, and began to sob. The tears he failed at holding back began to fall again, but this time he didn’t care. He dabbed through the pain. He dabbed through the terrible memories of the game he had survived. He dabbed through his feelings of hatred, love, pity, and sadness. 

Best of all, he dabbed for the haters.

**Author's Note:**

> fight me, hussie  
> edit: @everyone giving me kudos: you’re braver than any us marine


End file.
